Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Manufacturer
Moore Action Collectibles
Year
1999
Materials
plastic

Cordelia & Xander from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

By David Rasmussen
14th Aug 05

Hold on, relevance to these reviews has finally come to light.
Once again same as the first, with the exception of the few comics extolling the beauties of lesbian relationships in Buffy I have about as much interest in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (and it’s spinoff Angel, as well as the rumored but never quite confirmed UK spinoff concerning Buffy character Giles) as… who cares! TOKYOPOP just picked up the rights to do a “Cine-Manga” version of Buffy, meaning you’ll see a ton of TOKYOPOP Cine-Manga Buffy books for a long long long time to come -- eventually.
Yeah, yeah, right now it’s just the ONE book, but who knows? If the fanbase is still there we could see it take off…. Sooner or later. After all we ARE talking about… what? Five? Six seasons? Something like that? And each episode is what, an hour apiece? That’s a ton of cannon fodder for Cine-Mangas!
Of course it might just be the one book, but who knows what the future holds! So now that I finally found relevance in these reviews we can now get to it with abit more vigor.

This week, continuing our Buffy the Vampire Slayer toy reviews, it’s a review of secondary characters Xander and Cordelia (she who later became a secondary character in Angel). Once again you know the drill. These figures sold like hotcakes smothered in smack when they hit, and all those many many Buffy fans (who will soon start migrating to TOKYOPOP in the near future) were buying them up like crazy. Nowadays? Maybe the new Buffy Cine-Manga will revive interest in the toys. Of course it’ll mean more than one needs to be printed BUT let’s just stick to one for now.

Meanwhile it looks like, according to a recent post, that you’ll be seeing a Firefly movie before you see a Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie. I didn’t think he would put his Firefly Series before his major fanbase series (Buffy) but cest la vie. Yeah. That means I can now stop talking about the Buffy movie since there’s other more relevant Buffy things to talk about! Like the new Cine-Manga. Anyway we’re here to talk about the action figures of the early 21st Century, this time that’d be once again the figure of the characters who are minor players.

Xander. He who reeks of geek character yet who somehow (heaven forbid) got more lucky breaks in terms of significant others than a character like him deserves… only for Joss Whedon to piss it all away for Xander time and time again for the ratings! Way to go, Mr. Whedon! Way to go! Xander has a… uh… normal look for a young male type… whatever. It’s the TOYS you’re interested in! Past the usual maiming incidents waiting to occur in the “stakes” (a pair once again) we have the ever so popular base and tombstone (which reads “Laugh In The Face Of Danger Then Hid Till It Goes Away”). Then he has a short range melee weapon (aka a fire ax, probably stolen from his apartment building) and a long range weapon (a rifle with scope)… and that’s it. Oh, yeah, 15 POAs as usual.

Cordelia, she who went over to Angel and now is going to be returning to TV as a reoccuring role in some TV series… forgot which… she packs all the weapons necessary to fight the evils of the mall. Base and tombstone (no words, just pretty designs), as well as two stakes, and the most inappropriate outfit ever… maybe not considering the character. She’s wearing a… I guess it’s a two piece with no pants… so, yes, technically you CAN look up her mini skirt to see if she’s wearing panties but that’d be just too damn weird… so don’t. Please don’t.
As for the rest? 15 POAs and armed with… a purse, a handbag, and (for those up and coming hip creature stompers) a CELL PHONE… you know, so you can talk your enemy to death. And look, it even opens for that realistic cell phone action! Whoo-eee! How exciting… not.

And that’s it. Other than the fact Cordelia has some rather odd “accessories” and is far too easy cannon fodder for jokes that my Editors would frown upon, I don’t think I want to say more about THIS week’s review… please, no more…so let’s sum it up already!

Cordelia/Xander 2000 figures Breakdown
What’s Hot?
Ok. Yes. Once once once again if you ARE a Buffy fan (born again, born late, or just realizing the many “situations” this Cordelia figure opens up) then you might be buying the figures… unless you’re just Willow/Tara fans then these are not the figures your looking for…. Oh, wait, Cordelia is such cannon fodder for Willow/Tara collections for all the wrong reasons… scratch that!

What’s Not?
Nothing. I’ll leave it at that… really, I know, I know, but I don’t want to bring THAT up.

Moments to Remember?
News of the upcoming Cine Manga made me forget about inquiring about memorable moments from the figures… then again staring at Cordelia’s figure just for the description gave me way too much ideas which I think I’ll keep to myself… eck.

What to Ignore?
Cordelia’s big weapon. She’s going to kill her demonic enemies by talking them to death on her cellphone… or… uh… nuff said.

Overall?
If you want it, you’ll buy it. If not that’s that. And that, as they say, is that.

Next Week
Next time we torture ourselves with even more innuedo and things taken way out of context as we see if the other two Cordelia figures are just as much cannon fodder for all the wrong thoughts as this one is!

Next Week
Another week of Cordelia figures… if you think you can withstand a second week of suggestive reviews that hints at the possible mis-use of these figures. And really, considering one of those two figures is her ultra rare slavegirl figure I don‘t see how we can avoid those pointed situations! Maybe she‘ll be once again armed with her cell phone of death… we‘ll see.

Two Weeks
The start of two weeks of needless variants. Starting with two Faith figures… yeah, her. Sorry, looks like she won’t be as easy to think inappropriate thoughts about as Cordelia was.

Three Weeks
The end of two weeks of needless variants with two Angel figures! One normal, one buttugly faced! Eww! Then there’s MORE… yeah, but this is the end of the standard figures, after that is a short stint in the BIG FIGURES… one week to be precise but it’s giant figures week after this. Otherwise that’s all in the next three weeks so stay tuned.

-- David Rasmussen 14th Aug 05