Witchblade Animated

Publisher
Top Cow
Writer
Paul Dini
Artist
The BBC - Bone, Bullock and Cooke
Country of origin
Japan
Year
2003

Witchblade Animated

By David Rasmussen
22nd Oct 06

The Animation flavor of your favorite mainstream title (oh, and one AmeriManga flavor of a favorite Japanese Anime/Manga title). Yeah, we’ve seen it all before. Star Trek the Animated Series, X-Men (which also had a little known of Manga version which was printed by MARVEL for a brief time years ago and then buried somewhere in the back of their collective consciousness), Superman, Spider-Man (also had a Manga version that I bet few remember about anymore), Batman, the Hulk (Hulk SMASH RATING!), Justice League (I bet you remember that old Superfriends series if you are up on your old school super hero animations), Fantastic Four (didn‘t they replace the Human Torch with a robot named H.E.R.B.I.E. or something like that?), Avengers and so forth. It’s all been done and done well… for the most part (not withstanding a few of the bad dismounts in the history of super heroic animations, like the whole mess that had X-Men the Animation‘s Jubilee originally shooting “fireworks“ that more resembled male sperm in her first few appearances in the start of the series).

But we’re not here to talk about the plus or minuses of some animated series, we are here to talk about the comic version of some of these series (and the one and only AmeriManga of a certain Anime series). Some were good, some were… oh dammit some were BAD ideas, and then there’s Witchblade Animated one shot that I am pretty certain was not based on an actual animated Witchblade series since I never remembered one being made. OK. We have four titles so let’s see who’s representing who.

Representing DC we have Justice League Adventures, which is (yes) the comic based on the whole Justice League animated series. Great series the animated Justice League (of which all you fans can attest to), now let’s see if the comic ever lived up to the series.
Representing MARVEL is X-Men Evolution (based on the fairly recent X-Men animated series of the same name of course).
Representing little known (for good reason mind you) PIONEER and it’s short lived stint into AmeriManga is Tenchi Muyo (the one and only series that actually went past Issue #1 despite the fact that their first launch titles were four in number).
And finally, representing Top Cow (mooo) is the one shot that does not actually (as far as I know) represent an actual animated series, mainly Witchblade Animated. Eh? Witchblade Animated? How cheeky!

But this is Top Cow’s five minutes so let’s get all hot and bothered for… was this EVER an Animated series? I thought it only had a short lived live action series which eventually bit the dust? Anyway here’s Witchblade Animated.

In “Heart of Darkness” Detective Sara Pezzini is investigating the untimely death of the good Father Brennan when she runs right into one Mr. Jackie Estacado and his large clan of latchkey little fellows (if you know your Darkness lore you know more than I do about the whole setup so I won’t insult you by trying to ply my two cents of petty knowledge against your greater knowledge). Wihle the two talk like a quarreling married couple in through a suspciously placed skylight falls one Sister Patience Bertrille aka the Magdalena… eh, the things sword weilding fists of the church are wearing these days.

Anyway I’d tell you there’s a story about an artifact called “The Heart of Darkness” and how it has the power to control The Darkness (Estacado), and that there’s a gimpy old church dude behind the whole mess in this issue but this is just one whole issue mostly to get the Witchblade, Magdalena and Darkness together in one issue (somehow I don’t think the story is going to matter much as long as there’s some action and somebody gets damned for eternity before the story’s over).
Oh, and then in a feel good moment a boy named Luis pops in at the last page and takes responsibility over the whole Heart of Darkness thing… awww -- and by that I mean “Aw god what the heck was Paul Dini thinking when he wrote in this I saw this ending coming from the Delta Quadrant ending” ending! Ok. Breakdown time… quickly.

Witchblade the Animated Breakdown
I’d like to say that this 2003 One Shot was the start of something interesting.
I’d like to say that something good came from this One Shot and… oh, wait, I don’t follow Top Cow well enough to say whether anything good came from this or not. My bad.
But long story short I see this one shot (short of proof of some grand Animated style ongoing series based on Witchblade or Magdalena or Darkness or whatever still running to this date) as an excuse to get Paul Dini to write something for Top Cow, and not much else.

It’s not that the story is particularly horrible or anything… it’s just not particularly great either.
Anyway this is probably an easily forgettable moment in the history of the Witchblade because I am quite sure many of you who are not die hard Witchblade, Magdalena, Darkness or Paul Dini fans even remember that Top Cow got Paul Dini to write this way back in 2003. It, like MARVEL’s X-Men/Star Trek One Shots, MARVEL’s X-Men and Spider-Man mangas from Japan, DC’s Titans One Shot from Adam Warren, and a great many gimmicky premise one shots which have all fallen off the collective radar of readers as the years go by will soon become only a memory unless you own the issue in question, or (you know) you just so happen to like to use obscure or soon to be obscure stuff like this to fill review weeks during dry spells… like now.

Long story short (yes, I know, too late) Witchblade Animated gets a seat in the middle of the class (either flunking nor graduating with honors) with a grade point average of 3 “When are we going to get that Witchblade slash Tomb Raider slash Magdalena slash whatever Victoria’s Secret War Lingere Crossover One Shot”s out of 5 sounds of silence from Top Cow… moo?

-- David Rasmussen 22nd Oct 06