Mail Order Ninja Recommended

Publisher
Tokyopop
Writer
Joshua Elder
Artist
Erich Owen
Country of origin
Japan
Year
2006

Mail Order Ninja Volume 1

By David Rasmussen
4th Feb 07

The art of ninjitsu, the art of silence and stealth. Trained killers who just have that kind of cool, and sadly have been making the rounds in the worst ways of late. If it’s not Antarctic Press’ recent battle royale between PIRATES and NINJAS, then it’s a certain whiney English voiceover adaptation of a strangely popular ninja who seems to have escaped from Russian Olympic Track & Field Boot Camp still wearing his godawful orange jumpsuit! What’s the appeal of Naruto again? Because I can’t stand listening to English dubbed Naruto no damn more! “BELIEVE IT!!” (God I don’t want to hear that two words again, “BELIEVE IT!!”)

But for young Timmy McAllister the art of ninjitsu means something else.
It means a mail order friend who’ll handle the bullies of his life, which seems to include an evil stereotypical rich girl and Timmy’s own sister who is evil as evil can be… totally evil.
It seems Timmy has been the victim of quite a few bullies all his life, which seems to include family as his own sister seems to take as much pleasure victimizing him as everyone else who has victimized him. Well his day has finally come because JacQues Co, in association with the honorable Clan Yoshida of Japan, have an offer for you Mr. McAllister!

Meet crazed frenchie Mr. JacQues! Not since the crazed French chef from Good Eats have we been faced with a scary French person like Mr. JacQues! Once upon a time he satisfied himself with building weapons of mass destruction for rogue nations, terrorists, the occasional mad scientist… oh, and occasionally rebuilding and restocking the secret “lahbohratory” of a certain Dexter. But after years of doing this, and becoming ultra rich from doing this, he’s become… well… bored. Now, well, seemingly after watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (or the original Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory) he has decided to work for the children of the world… by making toys of mass destruction for children.
Fear for the world, people, fear for the world.

Genetically engineered monsters, actual working carbine laser rifles, and men of menace like Major Carnage! These and more can be yours… but since Mr. McAllister is a traditonalist and a fan of ninjas to begins with (favorite title just so happen to be the title from who the “hero” of this book comes from) he ordered his ninja, and 2-3 weeks later he arrives… and all hell breaks loose, but in an entirely joyous way that’ll make this Manga Reader book another title for your collection (especially when he takes his pal to school and the mayhem slash bully bashing truly begins). Soon Timmy rises to the top of the dog pound of his school with his ninja friend’s help, and things are looking bright for him.

But as Volume 1 ends we see that the former ruler of the school Timmy goes to, the rich twit of the school, is about to bring it as she orders her own mail order ninja… and apparently it seems Timmy’s ninja isn’t the only one from that manga he likes so much, since the ninja the rich gal gets is Timmy’s ninja’s hated nemesis… oh, and she’s about to order 100 more ninjas to boot.

Yeah, next time out we’re going to be hip deep in hot ninja on ninja mayhem. You betcha.
Now the breakdown as we wait for the smackdown to commence.

My Favorite Ninja Breakdown the 1st
Some months ago I did an interview with the creators of this title, and this book was compared to Calvin and Hobbes… only with more action, tight humor, and solid overall action and fun. Owning your own personal ninja bodyguard slash avenging angel has never been so much fun, and while I usually don’t recommend people take things from crazy French dudes this is one mail order gift that deserves to be owned. A solid read that truly honors the ninja, and yet brings you the fun of ninja ownership.
Mail Order Ninja Volume 1 gets 4 “Care and Maintenance of Your Ninja” instruction booklets out of 5.

-- David Rasmussen 4th Feb 07