PC - NRA: Varmint Hunter

Format
PC
Publisher
Speedco
Developer
Speedco
Country of origin
US
Genre
Shooter

NRA : Varmint Hunter

By David Rasmussen
28th Apr 05

There are just some people who shouldn’t be making video games. Besides the now bankrupt Acclaim and whoever came up with the idea of American Idol the Video Game that is.
I’m talking about groups that aren’t exactly known for video games in the first place.
Groups like the AARP, the ACLU, the Christian Coalition and, yes, the NRA and the US Armed Forces (like the US Army). Mainly the NRA and the US Army in this case since they‘re the ones who just put out their own video games (except in the US Army‘s case where they just put out a PS2/Xbox version of their original PC video game they put out sometime ago).
This is a review of the first, the latter might come about if I ever see their game on the shelves at Blockbuster. So shhhhhhhhh…. Be wery wery qwiet… we’re huntin’ vhar-mints!

No, really, this isn’t a joke. And, while I’m at it, this makes me wish we could include streaming video of the game’s review from X-Play (G4-TechTV) since it’s the most disturbing thing you’ve ever seen since last year‘s Catwoman video game and that disturbing YourselfFitness game! This game, some sort of bizarre and odd attempt to create a serious as hell hunting sim, is basically about shooting little critters from a distance… yeah, I think it’s freaky too.
Honesty though, if this game wasn’t reviewed on X-Play I wouldn’t have believed in the existence of this game either! And as for reviewing said game? There was really no need for me to play it, really.
All it took was one view of the game via the review from X-Play and I saw all I needed to see.
Yes, this game really is that shallow and meaningless, yes it is.

So some of you might ask the obvious question. What is the NRA?
The NRA, aka the National Rifle Association, is the gun/rifle activist lobby in the United States that fights for gun ownership rights. You know, the right to bear arms, use assault rifles to hunt squirrels and kill bunnies (just like World of Warcraft only with firepower instead of sharp swords and axes), that sort of thing. If you saw Michael Moore’s “Bowling for Columbine” film then you already have a leg-up on what the organization is about. I’m not certain who the big name of the group is now, but I do remember a time when their big name was none other than Charlton Heston… you know, Charlton (Moses of the Ten Commandments, Ben Hur of the movie of the same name, Planet of the Apes, etc.) Heston who once told Government that if they wanted to take his gun from him they’d have to pry it from his “cold dead hand”… then he went on to reprise his Moses role in a made for DVD animated remake of The Ten Commandments. Go figure.

The NRA, they who think it’s peachy to go shooting at wildlife with assault rifles (unless they‘ve changed their policy recently which I doubt), puts out this game (the first collaboration between a lobbyist group and a game developer) which is even more boring and mind numbing to play than the PS2 American Idol video game (if such a thing was inhumanly possible)!

Guess the first major mistake the NRA made was going to a company that might not exactly be known for hunting games (Speedco). What? Is there someone who IS good at hunting games? Yes, Activision. They have been working with this company on a whole line of hunting games which they put out year after year after year. In fact you should be able to find their latest releases now at any video game rental place near you. Anyway why the NRA didn’t take their game ideas to a company like Activision is not entirely certain, maybe they would have avoided putting out tasteless hooey like this.

Yes. The game is BAD! How bad? Let me count the many ways.
1) This is supposed to be (from the press release I saw) educational… so I should become wiser from the pointless exercise of threading bullets through a rodent at so many hundreds of feet.
Well… I guess it’ll improve my killing skills with a rifle for my next sitdown game of Resident Evil 4, since if I can put a bullet through a rodent at a few hundred feet I can take a rampaging villager’s head off at half that range with no problem! Otherwise I can’t imagine how else it’ll help me become more educated.

2) It’s supposidly such an accurate game! A lot of the text about this “Game” harps on and on about it and how the animals AI mimic real rodent behavior… yeah, like that‘s the Holy Grail of rodent AI physics!
See rodent, see it move like watching National Geographic footage from a documentary, put a hole into rodent and make it flop over like a badly animated cartoon rodent in a bad flash movie. Hooray.
Is that really how varmints die when shot by a high powered rifle? Sadly I don’t think I want to find out just to satisfy my limited curiousity.

3) You can play as a male or female hunter, and carry a big ole’ manual load rifle to put the hurt on them pesky varmint… from a distance…. No, don’t sing, don’t sing “From A Distance”… resist the urge…
(ahem). Sorry about that, moving on now.
Yes. In fact the game’s press talks about how the world of reloading is an intergal part of the sport!
Yes! Reloading (your rifle) is a world, like Jurai or Unicron… or is this just an excuse not to offer up any assault rifles or high quality rifles (with fast loading ammo clips) to shoot with. Uh, right, didn’t the NRA complain forever that assault rifles are good for hunting? If they so believed in that then why don’t I have an option to use an assault rifle (single fire) to hunt these pesky varmints? Maybe because it’s overkill.
About as much overkill as having the option to play through Mercenaries in a Gundam.

4) As for said rifle? Well since the “world of reloading” is so important to this “sport” (game)? That means the reloading of your rifle is SLOW!! Yes, that is actually realistic for a hand loaded rifle.
Anyway I don’t know what’s worse. The boredom of waiting for the rifle to reload, or the boredom (deep dark disturbingly uncomfortable boredom) of shooting little fuzzy creatures that flop over without even a clear idea of why I would want to blow away little critters in the first place.

5) Why am I shooting …. What is that? Beaver? Gopher? Prarire Dogs? What’s up with that!
I at least respect shooting down zombies and the undead. At least they fight back, and aren’t harmless things like whatever it is they’re shooting in this game.

6) Ah, yeah… you know this is supposed to be “stimulating”! I mean why else would people play this game unless it was highly “stimulating”! The game harps on how you’ll learn to work that “dog town” to “achieve stimulating shooting”… and this game is supposed to be fun for those of us who “like to pull the trigger often”. So it’s great if you like shooting thing, and are not serving 25 to life in prison for that love.
Yeah. Got a need to shoot something? Play Resident Evil 4, Mercenaries, or some other game where the shooting is actually fulfilling AND stimulating all at the same time!
If you just want to be stimulated go pick up the Japanese import PC game Sexy Beach 2. That should be enough stimulis to bring 9 out of 10 zombies back to life.

7) You’re supposed to be able to play this game online… however, as of the review from X-Play (sometime earlier this year), that “option” didn’t exist… or at least the huge server for online play wasn’t up and running yet. It might be up now, but I wouldn’t know since I’m not playing this game.

And hence we come to the major point. The gameplay itself, and the things you are to shoot… varmints.
Varmints. Things no bigger than a bread box (could probably fit into a breadbox) that hasn’t exactly been used in any major shooting games (1st or 3rd person) yet as things people want to shoot at. Even Activision isn’t exactly marketing a whole franchise on the termination of the “Varmint”. At least they put larger game, like deer, and in one case bear, on their shooting game cases. “Varmints” ain’t exactly what I call good shooting material. So, in that context I don’t know what the NRA was thinking showing off the ability to whack… I’m going to say they’re Prarie Dogs since the game text I brought up earlier talks about going to “dog town”… guess that’s slang for Prarie Dog… anyway I don’t know what they were thinking when they put out a game about whacking Prarie Dogs, but something tells me that they weren‘t thinking anything good when that idea came to life! Please be still my errant heart! Even fishing for big game bass and tapping buttons to “sing” for Randy, Paula and Simon sounds like more fun than this game can even begin to offer!

And it’s not like the NRA is doing something unique and different, it’s not.
Like I said before someone else has already set up shop as one of (if not the) big name(s) in hunting game sims, mainly the people at Activision and their huntin’ sims. And unlike “Varmint Hunter”, in those games you actually shoot at animals that are large enough to possibly defend themselves, unlike the NRA game which features creatures that have never been known for their abilities to defend themselves against human beings with rifles.

And who the heck are they marketing this to, anyway?? Not hunters that‘s for sure.
If you are a real hunter you are either out hunting for real, or playing the more proven hunting franchise games put out by Activision (that most likely has a history of player loyalty) rather than some drop in the bucket newbie game like this. I can’t imagine anyone who’ll be conned into buying this thing. Not a single soul. The “game” is no better than a free shareware gopher hunting sim, in fact the game IS a free shareware gopher hunting sim with only better graphics… and you have to pay for this game.

Sadly this isn’t even a real game in the gameplay sense, it (like the America’s Army game from the US Army) is more of a PR slash recruitment tool over something of real merit.
And for the record if I was given the choice between the two I’d rather play America’s Army than this since I’m not pointlessly shooting something that isn’t a small defenseless critter.
For the NRA, this so called game they put out brings hope that they will probably recruit new members from people who play this game. Yeah, same thing as with America’s Army game which is supposed to be a recruitment tool to get people into the army… except I don’t know how they ever came up with the idea of using a video game as a recruitment tool! I don’t know about you but I don’t really equate most die hard video game players with any real physical abilities capable of making them ideal military officer material.
Yes, the NRA and the Army have pretty much reached a low point in that even video games seem like a good alternative to whatever else they were getting in terms of plans from their PR people.

The NRA should have known better.
It’s a sad day indeed when the NRA and the USArmy start making video games.
It’s a sadder day when they actually expect people to PLAY their video games!
And a sad sad sad sad day when people are actually conned into buying said video games.
So don’t be conned. Want to shoot wildlife in video games where nothing is really hurt yet you still have the experience without the bloodshed? Try Activision’s line of hunting games. Their 2005 version (and a “Dangerous” hunting sim) is out now and available for rental at any decent video game rental place!
Want to shoot insurgents and do military things (which is probably an option in America‘s Army)?
Buy Metal Gear Solid games or Tom Clancy shooters. Avoid Desert Storm I and II, I heard they aren’t as good as they should be, despite the fact James (Scotty) Doohan is rumored to possibly be a voiceover actor in the 2nd Desert Storm game.

Want a good PC game? Go get Lord of the Rings : Battle for Middle Earth, Immortal Cities : Children of the Nile or Rome : Total War. Any of those are fun games, better than this. Avoid NRA : Varmint Hunter like the plague, or Catwoman. Nuff said, it’s breakdown time!

NRA : Varmint Hunter Breakdown
What’s Hot? - Resident Evil 4.

What’s Not? - This game.

Moments to Remember? - Did I mention the X-Play review? I liked that review.

What to Ignore? - You mean besides this game? I’d like to think that this is a one trick pony that’ll never ever be repeated again, because lord knows we don’t need a tobacco company video game, let alone a video game from the beer companies, the enviornmentalists, the other three branches of the United States military, and any other group even toying with their own video games that should know better.
NRA : Varmint Hunter and America’s Army is enough weirdness for me, thanks.

Overall? - You could be bitten by games more entertaining than this. Don’t buy it. It’s evil.
Spend your money on better shooters, like Resident Evil 4, or Half Life 2, Halo 2, Killzone, Mercenaries, etc. etc. etc…. you get the point. Nuff said.

-- David Rasmussen 28th Apr 05

PC NRA: Varmint Hunter Images