Well, after much time and reviewing it’s time to open up the newest in retro reviewing.
Our first batch of SEGA Game Gear reviews. Let’s get into it.

First off a shoutout to Doug from GameTZ (the site where I do all my game swapping), who traded me a SEGA Game Gear and 19 GAMES!! Thanks to you, Doug, we’ll have quite abit to review for sometime to come! Thanks!!

Are you a careful driver? Does pedestrian safety concern you? Is safety your number one concern in the real world out there? Then in god’s name why are you playing this game!!

By now, if you’re lucky, you would have no recollection of the Crash Dummies (those icons of public safety who attempted to teach

you to buckle up for your own safety lest something horrible happens to you). What? I’m the what… I’m evil because I just refreshed your memory about the Crash Dummies? Really? … sorry.

Well add this to your “Things to Grow On” list, kids, as the Crash Dummies go to work to teach you more worthless advice about the dangers of…

- Skydiving off a tall building using said buildings… “additions”… to make the fall more interesting (or exciting).
-Driving recklessly without a seatbelt (but with plenty of boost to make the car go faster).
-A good day working on the assembly line at the bomb packing factory.
And other things that seem to be badly themed mini games that aren’t very fun.
Wario isn’t losing

any sleep over bad gaming like this, kids.

Yeah. Apparently the only way to succeed in this game is to do a variety of “odd” jobs (latterly “odd” jobs) in order to make a living. Thing is a lot of these games are not the best made mini games I ever seen, and there is no way to pick and choose your games (or any way to mix ‘em up for some variety). The same levels are played out over and over again, and that only adds to the dulldom inducing snore fest this game is.

I know, for some godawful reason, a whole industry was briefly carried on the backs of these characters in so many ways I dread to even attempt to wrack my brain to find the many ways these characters were used in their many functions as product pushers/sellers. Thing is these days things like The Crash Dummies would probably never make it past the snitty evil that is the overtly PC-ification of TV, toys and so forth. I don’t think people these days are going to have the same reaction to a whole concept of crash dummies doing dangerous things to teach children to -- to -- whatever.

Because of that I can safely say this is one dinosaur of the Game Gear past you can leave in the bargain bin of evolutionary dead ends. 1 series ending crash (because, really, you only need one) out of 5.