DICE

Publisher
Bandai
Director
Jun Kamiya
Production
Bandai, Studio Galapagos, XEBEC
Country of origin
Japan
Format
Series
Running time
26 episodes
Year
2004

D.I.C.E. V2

By David Rasmussen
26th Nov 05

Remember Saturday mornings? I sure do. You get up early, dust off the old TV remote control (which is actually never really dusty since it gets lots of useage) and sit down for some quality mindless animation?
Yeah, these days we’re watching either serious action like Ghost in the Shell : Stand Alone Complex, top notch sci-fi like Plantes, or just good fun like Galaxy Angel (now up to Galaxy Angel A, season 3 of the series, be sure to get your copies today) or sports themed series like Hoop Days but whatever happened to just watching something ‘cause it’s mindless fun? Well for you fans of Saturday morning that time may be now in the form of D.I.C.E., which stands for D.N.A.Intergrated Cybernetic Enterprises… which means the title should actually be D.N.A.I.C.E. though that really doesn’t make sense so -- forget it.

There’s no real need to recap last episodes since, well, you can just read the review. That and the series is not presently going through any major storyline that requires a recap from last DVD to begin with.
So without further ado let’s go D.I.C.E., DVD Volume 2!

Volume 2 - High Speed Action
Episode 6 - Operation Grand Prix
Today, dear readers, we’re off to the land of autoracing on a vast distant world. It’s like Hot Wheels only with more deception and dorky evil dudes who cheat ‘cause they’re no good at playing fair!
On a certain world there is a planet that is about to hold an ultra major racing event. This event has many majorly big mega corporations competiting in it for bragging rights, which seems to has made someone a bad sport since somebody has been sabotaging the racers of each and every mega corp that has been predicted as the surefire winner of said racing event.
One mega corp, however, has had all that it can stand, and can stands no more (in Popeye speak) and have called in D.I.C.E. to investigate by taking part in the race (while looking out for the guilty party and dirty tricks during the race).

Of course it turns out the last three mega corps that were not sabotaged were all in this little scheme together, but that won’t last long as they are sure to get their comeuppance on race day.
Mega corporations working together -- what’s the galaxy coming to!

Episode 7 - The Vanishing Planet
Some planets are shy. They don’t like coming out for one reason or another, like the world in question in this episode. Situated on the edge of the galaxy, and accessable only via an unstable wormhole that opens once every 29 years, the planet seldomly gets visited by tourists (wonder why). However today it’s going to get visitors since there are some vital surveying equipment on said world that needs to be maintenanced, so Jet ends up taking the trip with his superior while the rest of the team grab some R&R time at a vital maintenance base for D.I.C.E. Dinobreakers (while their gear is maintenanced).
Of course this is just an excuse to talk about the “food” Dinobreakers “eat”, and the ills of your Dinobreaker falling off the wagon of it’s “diet” by eating untreated “food”… just like Jet has done with his “pal”, who is now going through a berserk rage and threatening to cause the sudden removal of two main characters from the show due to sudden stranding in the middle of nowhere.

Episode 8 - Five Seconds to Interplanetary War
Do you smell that? That’s the smell of the winds of war!
Weaponsmakers turned warmongers are looking for a good excuse to start a “profitable” war, and if the gang of D.I.C.E. don’t hurry their secret investigation along there’ll be a war on everyone’s heads… a war that’ll start promptly at the appointed hour, since it seems war is an orderly thing that keeps a timetable.
Is this really appropriate considering the day and age we live in? Probably, considering the day and age we live in.

Episode 9 - Forgotten Labyrinth
Let’s see, after everything that’s been done this DVD what else can the gang at D.I.C.E. get into?
How about a bad case of rivalry between Jet and Roger (Wilco?), who apparently don’t work well together even in simulations. To possibly cure their lack of cooperation, the two are sent on an Awakening, as they travel to find a Link to the Past, and listen to the Ocarina of Time. But can Jet and Roger hide their dislike of each other behind a Mask of Majora and follow the Windwaker to… oh, hell, it’s a ZELDA parody!

To see which is the better of the two (though I thought it would be to cure them of their “Odd Couple”-itis), Jet and Roger are sent to retrieve the “ancient” Tri-Zelda (held in a conveniently familiar treasure chest in an even more familiar TriForce shaped gold container) held within the ancient Nintendo Ruins.
Eh. Nintendo Ruins, TriZelda… right. And while I guess this is as an appropriate time for this episode as possible (what with everyone waiting for the release of Legend of Zelda : Twilight Princess for -- for something -- in 2007), it is not so much an Excellent Adventure as it is a Bogus Journey (sorta like Keanu Reeve‘s lack of interest in dubbing his own role in his Constantine video game).
Yeah. Yeah. We have the Triforce shaped item, check. We have dungeons and trials to test their brainpower, check. And we have idiots to oppose them from rival D.I.C.E. ripoff group of losers -- whattheirnames -- so this is not so much The Adventures of D.I.C.E. as it is Legend of Zelda - Four Losers.
Yeah. Teamwork’s seemingly dead people! Ko-op play in Mortal Kombat : Shaolin Monks be damned!

Episode 10 - Puffy’s Quest
How about a story about seldomly featured female character Puffy, who does all the technical work behind the scenes at D.I.C.E. Fortress, and seems to suffer from a shopping addiction as a shopaholic.
So how does a shopaholic like the cute Puffy pass a day? How about get involved in protecting a mysterious ultra rare bird of questionable appearance from poachers, who sport questionable intelligence!
Sadly she doesn’t shine as the solo star, especially since losers Jet & Roger have to be involved.
Ok, time for the breakdown.

D.I.C.E. Breakdown the 2nd
What’s Hot?
Well it’s not like D.I.C.E. is some horrific title that nobody can watch. I’ve seen worse, and D.I.C.E. isn’t it (Happy Tree Friends anyone?). D.I.C.E. is a show for kids, but if you’re the kind of person who enjoy Saturday morning shows that are more about campy action and thrills over adult themes and content then you’ll also find something of interest in D.I.C.E.
No, it’s not one of the major series that BANDAI is putting out now, but for a campy show of excitement and action that’ll remind you of the good old days of Saturday morning fun then prepare to embrace your destiny as D.I.C.E. may be the title that’ll bring back all your rememberances of old.

What’s Not?
Of course if you are looking for the next GITS : SAC, Planetes, Wolf’s Rain, Gundam SEED, Cowboy Bebop (Remix) or even Galaxy Angel then you are probably looking in the wrong place.
It’s kid’s fare, but it’s also campy action fun that should appeal if you got a bit of a taste for that stuff.

Moments to Remember?
Yeah, it does have it’s moments (no question about it) but that’s for watchers to discover.

What to Ignore?
HOWEVER, well, though again it’s all timely and all with all of us waiting patiently for Twilight Princess, I just don’t know about the episode that had the Legend of Zelda/Nintendo parody thing. I mean really! The TriZelda? Held in the Nintendo Ruins? Yeah. What’s next? The Mega Corporation known as Mario Corps? An evil bio-monster that resembles a pink ball, which sucks and blows enemies? Pika-chow? What?!?
That and I kind of wonder if this is the right time to talk about being on the edge of full out war with things the way they are in the world -- though I guess in terms of appropriateness the war story was more fitting than the Zelda parody.

Overall?
Embrace the dark side of your Saturday morning addiction! Find thy favorite cereal, pop thy popcorn and grab yon carbonated drink for a stidown of epic non-proportion that screams Saturday Morning excess!
It’s not a major big gun, but it is a joyous little title that kids and lovers of campy action will find enjoyable. Really, there is merit if you like a little campy fun in your collection (and we all could use a little fun now and then in our collections)! Saturdays is back, everybody, and it can be embraced 24/7! Enjoy!

-- David Rasmussen 26th Nov 05

DICE Images